The Tradegy of Romeo and Juliet: Lost in Love
by i am lord voldemort
Summary: Have you ever thought that Romeo and Juliet werent the best couple?that perhaps juliet and mercutio would fit better?or even...romeo and mercutio?or maybe even romeomercutiojuliet?and so the list of charcters grows!WARNING slashes!makes fun of romeo and j


**_The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet:_**

**_Lost in Love_**

****

****

****

**This is a notice to all readers!!! This short story contains many slashes and puns of the characters and events contained within the real story. This fake, weird spin-off is just for humor only, and no harm is meant to come by it. Basically, what I'm saying is that if you have a loyal devotion to the original Romeo and Juliet then don't read this because you will hate me and it's not my fault I dissed your god, ok? Lol… onto the story (oh, and by the way, yes, sweetling is NOT a real word!) And also… you probably need to read the story to understand this, so if you haven't… read it anyway and tell me what u think of it. That goes for everyone else too! REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!!! ALRIGHT!!! NOW ITS TIME TO READ!!!!**

**Act 1**

_A dark street_

Juliet: Oh Romeo, sweet and gentle slayer of my heart, if thou truly adores I, then thou must banish thyself from this worldly realm.

Romeo: Oh, but darling Juliet, conqueror of my mind and soul, dost thou not wish to lay with me?

Juliet: O' Romeo, but _of course _this emancipation haunts me. Firstly, however, in thy own will, thy must banish they soul.

Romeo: If it be what my love commands, then so it be done.

_Picks up dagger and kills self_

Juliet: Behold! Long lasts have lifted themselves from my heart and have set it free in the wind! May I now return from his hold and return to my truest love… his slain companion Mercutio!

_Mercutio rises from the shadows_

Mercutio: O' dear sweetling of my flesh and bone! Faith of companionship has been fulfilled at last! Be it still while I touch thy lips, thy flesh, thy soul, the very kingdom of my lonely being!

Juliet: O' be it so, dear Mercutio!

**Act 2**

_The room of Juliet, 9 months later_

Juliet: Oh! Oh! Behold upon the wings of the creature of flaming tongue, the fires of agony and suffering have thrust themselves upon thy flesh! Oooowww!

Nurse: Dear child, be still, be still! The life that has been withheld in thy flesh has almost released itself in harmonious accord from thy!

Mercutio: Oh thy betrothed! 'Tis a day of infamous celebration in gleeful bliss and extravagant form that of which stands on a ground of change!

Juliet: Aaaahhh -------------------- Aaaaahhh… Alas!

Nurse: Be it through! Here, here look upon the face of your child!

Juliet: 'Tis a sweet, sweet marvel that has extracted its tiny soul from my womb. Look at how it ganders, gently prying life into its freshly opened core! You are the prize of my flesh!

Baby: Foolish inquiries! Dost thou not discern my features! Dost thou not spy the soul that lurks hideously behind the legerdemain?

Juliet: It -it speaks. Behold, the child of my womb! Yet, how can be it so? The voice it spreads across the air like a fish swimming in the sea of enchanted wishes speaks to me in a way I have heard ago… _Romeo_?

Romeo: 'Tis I, foolish Capulet! Returned I have from the underworld of pure death and pestilence dissimulated as the flesh of Mercutio and thy's own exchange of lust to deliver upon you the vengeance stored for 3 and 4 of a year! Feel thy wrath upon thee!

_Grabs nearby dagger and stabs Juliet_

Juliet: O'! I am slain! Farewell, world of cruelty and abolishment! My Mercutio…

_Juliet dies_

Mercutio: Romeo… thy… thy wife is slain! How could thou command such an infliction?

Romeo: Thou hast memory of the time precedent fair Juliet?

Mercutio: What ho? Why… thou dost recall… Dost thou intend to acknowledge that indeed thou hast returned for I and I alone?

Romeo: Be it a guess, be it correct. Oh, sweet Mercutio! Memories of misguided times had soon impaired me to continue my sorrowful occasion as an underworld spirit. Though be it a sin of deadly conspiracy, thou broke thyself from the bonds of imprisonment that raged deep within the bindings of time and returned here, where my true destiny lies.

Mercutio: Thou Romeo, thy heart is open to thee. Never have I loved as much as I have loved thee. Not even for the sweet Juliet, whose soul lies alone in a puddle of displacement. Oh, Romeo!

_Grabs newborn and kisses passionately_

Romeo: Oh, Mercutio! That thou have accepted thyself please me so!

_Wind blows, and Juliet is returned to her body_

Juliet: Forsaken thoughts flow through every portion of my flesh, chilled, yet not gone completely to the darkness. Deception appears only as an outer scar, one which through time may heal back to perfection if left lonesome and far from liability. Now be it time to recognize the truth of the situation. Be it so, I have returned, fleeing from the nearly inevitable darkness that yearned to emanate and consume my willing flesh. Be it not, oh sweet Romeo, oh sweet Mercutio, that the duo you have formed is unwilling for another member. Thy has love in thy tainted heart for both souls, equal, but none less. May thy join thee?

Romeo: Juliet, still so fair, I hold for you a portion of my heart as well. Join thee, well as fair Mercutio grants consent.

Mercutio: Be it so fair wife!

Juliet: O'! Great thanks are my offer!

_Jumps into Mercutio and holds Romeo in lap_

Nurse: Great flattery! How can this be so! Souls rising from the dead in hideous fashion to join together in harmony? Can this be true enough to the passion of love? Three together? O' lamentable day is this? Dost not another see a flaw in this conception? How will the laws of love carry three succumbed lovers? One live member must be presented in my assumption. A notion that fairly predicts the relevance of the times. Oh, great threesome, what is to be of thy, the nurse, alone yet willing to take heart?

Mercutio: Be it a quad! Ever for so much as I can conceive, you have held a portion of my flexible heart. Join us.

Romeo: Be it so.

Juliet: I am to agree as well. Be it so.

Nurse: A quad be it! United in strength and spirit together thou shall be for eternity. O' happy day!

**_ The End_**


End file.
